SUBSCRIBE TO MY SUBSTACK NEWSLETTER TO LISTEN TO THE PODCAST
We saved the best letter for this week’s Substack podcast. See letter below. Also discussed:
Should I start a Youtube Channel?
“Exposing” male dating coaches
Why break-ups are so painful
Guys who check casual sex & long term relationship on their dating profiles
Hi Christan and Sara! I matched with a guy, Tripp, on Bumble two years ago. We went out for cocktails on our first date and I thought we hit it off. We talked for two hours and I thought there was chemistry there. He texted me after to say he wanted to see me again. We went out on a second date, and afterwards we went back to his place. We made out on his bed and he asked me if I wanted to have sex. I said yes, and I remember I took off my pants. And I remember the just didn’t seem that into it. He had such a reaction I had never seen before in a guy. And about two minutes into it he said “I’m sorry I can’t do this.” And I gathered my stuff and walked out the door.
I thought maybe casual sex is just not his thing. I got a text message from him later saying they the sex was awkward, he didn’t enjoy it, and just doesn’t think we are a match. He said “I’m not trying to be mean but you don’t have much of a personality.” Both of those comments were feedback I have never received from a guy. There has never been one guy who has been disinterested in having sex with me for a second time. I’ve also never been told I don’t have a personality.
Ok so flash forward two years. I have a paid Bumble membership and I see Tripp pop up in the users who have liked me section. I swiped right just out of curiosity of what we would say to me, or if he would even recognize me. It turns out he did recognize me, and he asked me what was new and such. And I filled him in on my life over the last two years. He started flirting with me and asked if I wanted to meet for drinks sometime. I said that I was busy until next week. And then he asks me “Can I be honest and ask you a question you don’t want to hear?” And I said go for it.
He said “You smelt bad. Once I took your pants off I literally couldn’t anymore. Were you sick? Is that normal.” Wow. That’s not feedback I’ve been given before. I’ve hooked up with several guys in my life and they’ve never commented on the scent. And I have a beagle nose so I’m pretty sure I would notice any foul odors. I’m confused about why he is wanting to date me again if he hated the five minutes of sex so much? Should I go out with him?