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Four Reasons You're Attracting Unavailable Men

A married old flame followed me on Instagram and I’m confused about why. A little backstory. In my freshman year of college, I met a guy in one of my classes. One night after class he friend requested me on Facebook and sent me a message. We talked, realized we had much in common, and exchanged phone numbers. Things got flirty and he admitted he had a crush on me. The next week I went into class excited to see him, yet he ignored me the entire time.

This became a constant for the next few weeks. He would want to flirt with me over text every night, but would completely ignore me at school. It reminded me of that scene in Euphoria where Cassie is walking up to Nate, and he blows past her in the hallway. That’s exactly what happened to me in real life.

After we got paired together in class to work on a project, and he was rude to me, I cut off the relationship. This week I logged into Instagram and I saw that he followed me and watched my stories. I went onto his profile to confirm it with him, and I realized that he’s married to an old coworker of mine. I decided to block him after he repeatedly watched my Instagram stories every time I posted. I am really

weirded out by the whole thing. I would love to hear your thoughts on why guys do this to girls they used to date or be interested in, especially when they’re married.

What we see here is the beginning of a pattern. In both instances mentioned in this letter, the man stealthily flirted with this woman but did not acknowledge her publicly. That suggests he does not want other people to know about his secret flirtation. The question is: Why?

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