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Letting Go When A Marriage Ends

I have a follow up question to the last one about the guy that still had his deceased fiancés engagement ring and his new fiancé selling it ... I’m wondering either you have anything to say about a man keeping his wedding band (not wearing it) from a relationship that produced children ... AND a woman wearing her wedding band (not engagement ring) on her opposite hand from a relationship that produced children ? Thanks!

We're glad you enjoy the podcast!

I think it's normal to hold on to your wedding band after a divorce. I know my father kept his and from his marriage to my mother with the intention of passing it down to one of his kids. (Me.) While a marriage may have come to an end, in many cases, i the dissolution isn't because two people stopped loving each other so much as they grew apart or changed.

As for why a woman might still wear her band on the opposite hand, I think it's important to realize that society tends to see women who are married in a more positive light than if she was not. Sometimes, it's just easier to let people think you're married so you don't have to endure a slew of uncomfortable questions about why she's single, doesn't she want kids, etc.

That band can also ward off predatory men. You need to understand how uncomfortable bordering on dangerous certain social situations can be for women who are trying to network or do their job. Some men simply do not read social cues and can be extremely aggressive. The wedding band - even on the opposite hand - is a good way to ward those types of men off. Though, off course, not all men and women respect that boundary and push on anyway.

The main reason, however, is probably that the woman is having a hard time reconciling with the fact her marriage ended. Again, the pressure on women to marry is exponentially more intense than it is on men. We're all supposed to want to get married, be married, and stay married. She's moved it from her left hand to her right, likely as the first step before she removes it completely. It doesn't necessarily mean she still loves her ex-husband so much as it means she's grieving the end of her marriage.

You can hear more of our thoughts on this subject, listen to out latest podcast below.


We're talking fake engagement rings and why some women wear their wedding bands after divorce. We also discuss a woman contemplating outing her married FWB to his wife. Plus, we introduce our new segment called There's A Sex & The City Episode For That.

I’ve Been Sleeping With My Friend for Eight Years. Should I Tell His New Wife?…d-tell-new-wife.html

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