I met a guy off hinge, and started chatting on Snapchat... 3 days later we hung out late for hours. (Realized we have a close mutual) He explained he just got out of a 2 year relationship 3 months ago...( I usually leave when I see a guy just got out of a relationship bc I know they aren’t looking for something serious and they have every right, I get it so I leave) but idk we decided to keep with the flow he expressed he knew this was bad because he was starting to like me and he explained he is a “relationship guy” but he knew he wasn’t ready for a relationship but really liked me. I also started developing some feelings but knowing it can’t be serious right now.
So I agreed to hook up a couple times explaining that 1-2x hook ups never work with me because I usually like to sleep with someone who also likes me back and there’s an emotional connection because I feel more comfortable. He explains that he won’t just leave and will keep seeing me and still wants to be exclusively hooking up (he says he won’t be sleeping with other ppl bc of covid and vice versa) so he likes me but again he can’t be in a serious relationship “I can’t be emotionally there for you”.
My issue is I don’t know how to deal with these situation because I start losing interest/feeling if there’s no consistent emotional connection (even as friends) and then I won’t feel comfortable hooking up... I’m unsure to just wait because I think the only problem is he just got out of a relationship and even as a friend I think he should be single.
Here's my first question:
Why is it that with this guy you don't do the things you "usually" do? If you have a standard operating procedure when it comes to sex, why did you completely throw it out the window for this guy? There's only two possible explanations:
You lowered your standards
These things were never standards to begin with, you just thought they were.
It's pointless to have standards if you're just going to disregard them when convenient. Your standard is you don't engage in casual sex unless there's an emotional connection. This guy appears to have repeatedly told you he can not provide that for you.
The sign you need to pay attention to is that this arrangement is in its infancy and he already feels the need to remind you he is not emotional available. The whole point of casual dating is to avoid the disclaimers and discussions that come with having expectations. Casual dating means no expectations.
This guy is telling you - quite bluntly, I might add - he has no interest in anything other than sex. That alone would make me run for the hills. If he's being that direct, it's for a reason. He's trying to get the point across to you, likely because he senses you want more. Which, let's be honest, you do.
There's no point in waiting for this guy to come around. Even if the timing weren't bad, if he thought there was potential for a deeper relationship, he'd make an effort to give you what you wanted even if it was on his terms.
My fear is that you're going to wait this out only to be disappointed. That will damage our confidence and suck up valuable time you could be using to meet someone available.
I wish you the best.