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Should You Reject Someone For Being Financially Unstable?

When dating, is it ok for stand my ground and want a man who is on my level financially at least? Not someone who thinks he can upgrade himself with me or get benefits ☹

Your question is one that, on the surface, has an obvious answer. Yes, of course it's okay to want to be with someone who isn't broke. However, there are too many variables involved for this to be so cut and dry. COVID has financially destroyed many people. Should they be blamed because a global pandemic wiped out their savings, put them put of work or got them evicted? What if they work in a field that is criminally underpaid, like teaching? Should someone who lives at home with family because they want to buy a home be penalized for being financially responsible? Is it fair to reject someone because their credit score took a hit because they were laid off? I'd rather date someone who worked two jobs and couldn't see me that often because they wanted to pay off their debt than someone who lived off their credit cards.

I don't see anything wrong with wanting a partner who is financially stable and responsible. However, like anything else, context is key. Much of my answer depends on what your "level" is. Do you work a full-time job and pay your own expenses? Have you earned what you have or has some of it been given to you ie a divorce settlement or inheritance? You can't expect anyone to achieve a level of something you haven't achieved yourself.

Understand that there's a difference between being financially irresponsible and being financially unstable. The former involves a person knowingly making bad financial choices without fear of consequence. The latter often involves events occurring out of the person's control that leads them to be in financial straights. Someone who lives outside their means with no plan to rectify that situation shows immaturity and entitlement. Someone who lost their job or got sick and is burning through their savings is doing what they can to survive.

For me, what matters most is someone's character, work ethic and how they view money. Whether or not we have matching bank balances is irrelevant. That said, I would never want to be with someone I thought was taking advantage of my hard work. That said, I wouldn't think anything of sharing whatever I have with a partner who shows me they appreciate, respect and value me. In fact, I would want them to benefit from my hard work, especially if they gave me the emotional support that assisted me in earning that money and achieving that success.

As I have said previously, you always want to hear someone's story. If they're struggling financially, what happened that led them to be that way. It's only with that information can you make an informed judgement call.

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