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Those Good Morning Texts Are A Bad Sign

When matching up on an app ; you chat and maybe talk on the phone - then the next day the “good morning “ texts start — what is appropriate in terms of next contact after you’ve talked on the phone once. I typically feel like the male follows with good morning and an all day texting session and it seems confining and loses excitement and the actual date takes longer to get to if they make it that far.

I always recommend to clients they never give out any personal or even burner phone number/email info until the first date is scheduled. Within 24 hours of the first date, you can send them your number and say, "Here's my phone number in case anything comes up and you need to contact me."

That last part is a very clear directive. With it, you're telling them they are to reach out via text only if they need to communicate something regarding your scheduled date. If they start texting you with non-essential conversation, respond once and only once with a short message that closes with, "See you tomorrow night!"

If they're reasonable socially adept, they will pick up on your cute and understand you are exiting the chat until you meet later that day/the next day. If they disregard it, take that as a warning sign they either:

Don't care about your expressed boundaries

Have poor social skills or impulse control

Need extra validation that you're interested and might be very needy

In my opinion, that initial messaging stage should not extend beyond 24-48 hrs. That's it. If that date isn't initiated and planned within that time frame, you need to suggest an offline or virtual date and lock it into your calendar.

Personally, I find those "good morning" texts to be very creepy. They imply a sense of familiarity that doesn't truly exist other than in their mind. After a few messages and a phone call, you're simply not at that stage with someone to be that invested. My honest opinion is that it's usually people with avoidant attachment styles or those looking for something "extra" in their life that engage in this behavior. They want to feeling of companionship without actually having to do the necessary work to build that kind of bond. Someone who wants to chit chat and message back and forth with a stranger is feeding off the illusion of intimacy they're experiencing.

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