Is It Sexist To Expect Men To Pay For Dates?




Why is it that the vast majority of women still do not offer to pickup their share of the cost a date night out? Is that not sexism?


First, let's define "vast majority." I don't agree that the "vast majority" of women expect men to pay for dates. In my opinion, this is a generational expectation. I hear more and more Gen Z women claim that they have no issues paying their fair share of a tab on a date. The more accurate perception is that the vast majority of women you date place this expectation on men. It's important not to apply a broad generalization across an entire gender.


Societal expectations (like a man should pay on a first date) are antiquated and have no place is today's society. However, this expectation is not sexist. It's entitled. It's spoiled. It's gross. But it's not sexist. In order for something to be considered sexist, the gender on which the expectation is placed needs to experience systematic oppression or discrimination. That's not a thing for most men, white men specifically. You, as a man, are not denied certain rights or liberties because of your sex. You can say its unfair to expect men to pay, but you can not blame sexism.


That said...


Nobody - NOBODY - likes spending money on strangers they could put towards something for themselves. Whenever men insist they like doing it, they're lying. You know what kind of guys say that? The ones that hang around forums where women gather to complain about men. They're commonly referred to as The White Knights, the men that ride into comment sections to get attention from women. They're the ones that send effusive, gooey dating app messages telling a woman what a beautiful smile she has. They're the same men that, when the aforementioned woman rejects them, hurl a slew of insults and hostility at her. It's a facade.


When women insist the men they date like paying, they are revealing they believe anything a man says if it aligns with their inner-narrative. They're bragging to show off and one-up other women.


People like to spend money on people when they know their kindness will be appreciated. That's not guaranteed when we're talking about two people who met online a few days prior.


I'd love to suggest men refuse to pay for a woman's share of a bill on a first date. Unfortunately, that would ultimately undermine their success, as many women would judge them negatively for it. At some point, we're must come to a mutual understanding that men are no longer obligated to pay for things.


Men pay because they know it's expected of them to do so. Women take this act to mean more than it really does. The gesture is not an indication of anything beyond the guy doesn't want the woman to think he's cheap or because he thinks it will help him get laid. It's an attempt to buy our approval. (In oldey times, it was a literal attempt to buy the woman, as we were considered property, but I digress.)


When you think about it in that context, no woman should want a man to pay for her meal or for anything else. Letting a man pay makes her his property. It takes away her leverage in a relationship.


Next time that bill gets placed in the center of the table, ladies, think big picture. Today, he's buying your wine. In six months, he'll be deciding where you live, where you vacation, how much you spend on this or that.


You want a say in every decision?


Pay for that Merlot.










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