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Statements Only: Avoid Guys That Will Ghost or Waste Your Time

Let’s talk about how to set up that first date so you can avoid conversations like this one.

So here’s how this is going to go:

  • Don’t suggest or accept vague plans.

  • Decide between the two of you what - exactly - you’ll be doing. Drinks? Coffee? An art gallery?

  • Don’t give the other person more than two options for when to meet.

  • Pay attention to the language you use. Instead of saying, “I can do…” say “Let’s do…” It’s more inclusive.

  • Watch out for phrases like “that should work” or “I can probably do that.” Don’t let your match talk around confirming plans. They either confirm them or they don’t. The only acceptable answer when making plans is “Confirmed. X time at X place.”

  • Don’t end the conversation without firm plans. The likelihood you’ll return to the topic in the near future is slim.

  • Take control of the situation. Tell them you’ll text them the morning of the date to confirm. Don’t leave that up in the air. Most people have differing ideas of what constitutes confirming a date.

  • Text the morning of the date and say “Hi. Just confirming we’re meeting at X time at X location tonight. If I don’t hear from you by X time I’ll assume we aren’t meeting.”

Remember: Statements Only.


With this self-paced online course you’ll learn how to make better matches, write more effective messages and how to spot the emotionally unavailable time wasters. This course is the same presentation used in the live Zoom classes.

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