My now ex partner and I dated for a year and had some issues with an ex of his. Eventually it came out that he was emotionally cheating with her after he was becoming more and more distant with me. He ended the relationship because of how I get frustrated and express that frustration with swearing while trying to find a solution. However, after discussing our issues he said he was the one to really mess up and my reactions were very understandable but he doesn't want to try to work this out together. Instead he said we could be together at some point if we both work on ourselves. We still talk daily, play video games and spend time together even though we aren't together. I leave it up to him to reach out. My question is do I wait for that "someday" or walk away like there is no chance?
So, just to be clear: when things between you and him hit a rough patch, he sought out emotional support from his ex. Then he broke things off with you because you *checks notes* swear? Is that correct?
Fuck that guy. No, seriously. FUCK THAT GUY.
He was wrong. Full stop. There’s no comparison between how he handles conflict versus how you do. When his feelings are hurt he seeks attention from other women. Which, by the way, undoubtedly involves him bad mouthing you or painting you as the villain. When your feelings are hurt, you cuss.
Big difference. Big. Huge.
Instead he said we could be together at some point if we both work on ourselves.
He can go fuck himself with his condescending “we can get back together but only if you work on yourself” bullshit. He said “we” but he really means “you.” He wanted to break-up. Instead of being a Big Boy and owning up to his feelings he had to turn it around and make it about how you swear alot and have the audacity to get mad when he disrespects you.
I hate it here sometimes. I really do.
He didn’t want the confines of a committed relationship. He first took the passive aggressive route and pulled back emotionally hoping you’d grow tired of his antics and leave. Then when that didn’t work he upped the ante and didn’t just look for attention elsewhere but made sure you found out about it.
You don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t know how to process his emotions in a healthy or productive way. It’s not your job to teach this grown-ass man to use his words.
He has you exactly where he wants you. He’s keeping you close and spending time with you while he takes his sweet time deciding what his next move will be.
Hint: it won’t include you.
Ditch this guy now and start the healing process so you can meet someone who knows how lucky he is that he found someone like you.