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Having Standards Does Not Make You Needy

Happy Monday, Nuggets!

This episode is about ensuring you know having certain expectations does not make you needy or demanding. Because f*ck that guy.

Have you joined our free and private networking group? The Dateology Coach Network allows members to congregate, network, and offer/seek guidance and support.

I dated a guy for almost three months, both initially looking for a possible relationship. However, I had concerns about repeating past patterns of emotionally unavailable me, so I set a timeframe to walk away if we hadn't define the relationship by then. The conversation didn't go as expected and I feel I may have rushed things because based on my research about taking things slow vs stringing me along, the most likely scenario is that he was not playing me. He decided to end things, because he thought I was just informing him of my decision to walk away but I wanted to continue the discussion with curiosity instead. I fear I made a mistake. What should I do?

Nothing. Your instincts were on point. He was wasting your time.

I’ve been dating a guy for a few months. And am trying to figure out how to best express my wants to this guy. Each time we end a date (usually a sleep over) he says, “let me know when you’re free.” This puts it on me to text and propose another date. He’ll text back a day or so later to confirm or propose another plan and they’ll be very little texting again until the date even if I send one or two. His response time is slow, and he doesn’t chat over text between dates. Recently he was traveling for the Jewish holidays and he didn’t respond to a text for a week. I let him know I’m looking for something more consistent with more communication and he wrote back surprised. We’re talking in person soon and I’m just not sure how to express my desires in a way that sounds kind and constructive.

Here’s what you say: “I’m looking for something more consistent with more communication.” No notes. You’ve already told him what you need. Now it’s on him to step it up.

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softbolt wares
12 nov. 2023

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