Is He Blowing Her Off?




50 year old who is not used to dating scene - so much has changed! I met a guy online! We messaged for about a month intermittently online! Exchanged numbers and spoke and flirted for a couple of weeks before meeting in person!


Covid has our state shutdown so I met him at his house! We had great chemistry and met up two more times with texts every couple of days and sexting! After the first of the year, his texts became more infrequent! If I text him, he immediately responds! I asked him if he was politely blowing me off and he said no- just super busy!


He has a high level career and coaches college ball in his off time! While I know he is busy- I don’t understand why he can’t text occasionally! Again- if I text first- he will respond but only if I text first! I’m sure I’m being blown off but I don’t understand why he texts back when I text after a week or two! And most importantly what did I do wrong? He made it clear in the beginning he wanted casual (because of his busy schedule) but casual and no contact are two very different things!


Since you're new to online dating, I'll pass along a very important tip.


If someone takes more than a day or two of messaging to ask you out, they're either unavailable (meaning not single), just looking for sex, or not looking to date anyone with any sort of consistency.


Someone genuinely interested in seeing if you and they might be compatible would initiate either a video or offline date fairly quickly. They would know that people are flaky and get bored easily and that they have a small window of time to keep you engaged.


Please keep in mind that asking you for your number or your Snapchat/WhatsApp don't count. In m opinion, those are just used as stall tactics. They're also mostly used by scammers and people who want to send or receive illicit photos.


The other thing to understand is that very few people will admit to trying to blow you off. Most will offer excuses about a hectic schedule, but if they made time for you once, they could do it again if they wanted to. He responds because he's keeping you around should he ever want to hook-up again.


It's important to realize that a man like the one you described is probably juggling multiple women. It's doubtful he's ever going to settle down with just one. I wouldn't waste any more time on him.


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