Men Aren't The Only Ones Who Lie About Wanting A Relationship



I had very little success in dating before 2020, but since the pandemic the amount of online dating users increased significantly and I started getting contacted a lot.

Initially my profile included the information that I am casually looking for date and that I do not want marriage nor kids.


I received many date invitations from blue collar men, but unfortunately every single one proved to be rude, disrespectful of my boundaries and my body. None of them wanted to take me to any sort of classy or fancy place and they frequently pressured me to split the costs of the date.


I am a plus size woman in my early 30s and I feel this caused them to see me as "a sucker" they can take advantage of.


After several experiences like this, I decided to try to identify the key features of online dating users nearby and try to find a pattern that caused only these undesirable matches to approach me.


I realized that the vast majority of decent looking middle class men with interesting profiles have their options set as: "Looking for marriage" & "wants kids". In desperation, I decided to edit my profile to match their options and also listed myself as looking only for marriage partners and wanting to have kids.


I was stunned by the outcome: I'm currently dating 3 decent, fit and attractive men who appreciate me and my body. I used to be very anxious about my looks and about making love, but now I look forward with excitement to every new date. I never felt this appreciated and I never had this much sex ever before in my life. It is wonderful!

Of course now I fear that they will somehow find out about each other, or that at some point one of them will ask to marry me.


Do you have any tips on how to make them accept the fact that I'm dating other men and also convince them to abandon their plans for kids and marriage?


Initially my profile included the information that I am casually looking for date and that I do not want marriage nor kids.

Women looking to casually date should not state that outright. If all you want is sex then all you need to do is match with someone, meet for a drink, then invite them back to your place or go back to their place. Easy peasy.


A lot of men do not trust women who say they’re just looking for something casual. The men you want to meet are going to be turned off by that admission. It’s not because they’re judging or slut-shaming you. They'll likely reject you because they know how easy men are to get into bed. They’ll wonder why you have to be so obvious about it or if it’s a trap.

If you’re genuinely not seeking anything serious for the immediate future then you can be upfront about that without attracting creeps. However, if you’re using that thinking it will make you more attractive, then creeps are what you’re going to get. Creeps will think you’re using sex to get their attention and they’ll exploit that to their advantage.


As I’ve mentioned several times over men have non-existent boundaries. If you explicitly state in your profile you’re looking to casually date, most men will interpret that as an invitation for sex.

None of them wanted to take me to any sort of classy or fancy place and they frequently pressured me to split the costs of the date.

Men are reading your profile and assuming you’re not looking for anything serious. (True.) So that must mean you’re seeking casual sex. (Not necessarily.) That’s why they’re not taking you on formal dates. Let’s be really clear about something: Men only pay for