Should You Send Your First Date A Follow Up Text?



So I just went on a great first date last night. The conversation was flowing so nicely to the point time just flew by. I was not expecting to have as long as date as it was, only planned for 2 hours but 5 hours flew by easily and we turned into the last ones left in the restaurant after closing. He walked me to my car and we had our first kiss and talked about future dates. He did text me afterwards to mention that he was home and that the had a good time which I replied to and that was the last I heard from him. He did not reach out at all the next day... what does this mean??


I hate to get all Jack Berger here (because we know what a douche he was) but I tend to agree that if someone is interested in seeing you again, they're booking that second date. They might not do it the night of the first date, but they're definitely doing it within, say, 24 to 48 hours of it.


Just because he hasn't responded yet doesn't mean he won't. However, I think if 2 days go by and you don't hear from him, it's time to shift him to the back burner. Preserve your energy for someone else.


Something to be aware of is that, in the moment, he very well might have had all intention of seeing you again. Then he got home, thought about it, and decided you were great but...


That but is a big reason why so many people struggle to get to the next round of dates. People - men and women - do this all the time. Especially people who have multiple matches on the docket they're interested in meeting. It could very well be he went out with someone else the next night or had a second or third date with someone else and decided to focus on them. When it comes down to it, finding the right person is about timing.


Another possible explanation is that he invested more than your average amount of time on that first date and brought up seeing each other again in the hopes that would make you feel comfortable enough to go home with him. The aim is to get their date to lower their guard and feel safe enough to set aside whatever rule they typically follow and have sex on the first date. I realize that's an awfully suspicious take on the situation, but it's not uncommon for someone to try and grease the wheels a bit by talking about the future on the first date.


Finally, he could have simply been trying to minimize the awkwardness and exit the date without there being any hurt feelings. A lot of people feel obligated to speak of a second date so as to avoid potential conflict while still face to face.


There's nothing wrong with sending him a quick text just to check in. If he doesn't respond or responds but doesn't bring up seeing each other again, I think it's safe to assume you have your answer. Much of the angst that comes from dating is the not knowing. Give it one shot so you can walk away knowing you gave him an opening to see you again.


I'd love for you to update me on whether or not he follows up.





53 views0 comments