Dating Online When You're Not Over Your Ex




Just got out of a 10 year marriage, wife left for another man. Confidence is low. Need to get back on the dating scene.


How does this sound for online bio:

“My brutally honest bio: Recently separated from my ex-wife of 10 years. First time trying this online dating thing so go easy on me. Im new to this! Little bit about me, I work for government from home, have 2 cats (one is fat and very friendly , the other is skinny and scared of everyone) also have a 200 pound dog as you can see from the profile pic (hes awesome, a gentle giant).


I have my own townhouse in South Surrey, great neighborhood btw. Im kind of a homebody, my ideal day/night would be to go for a hike with the dog, have a picnic somewhere by the water, come back home, play some boardgames or watch a movie and eat some munchies and just have great conversation.

Im pretty shy when you first get to meet me but I loosen up once i get to know you. Some of my other pros: im reliable, stable, have my shit together for the most part, i can be funny and goofy, ill always have your back no matter what. I dont have many friends but the ones i do, i have had for many many years. Im honest and i would never cheat and expect the same from my partner.


Some of my cons: i smoke (i know bad), im organized (ex didnt like that, cause i like to keep the house clean and believe it takes two people that live together to do that), im not very spontaneous but i can work on that, and i barely drink (gives me migraines).


Im just starting to come back to being myself, hanging out with friends more, exploring and discovering who I am at this ripe age of 35. I am looking for someone that is down to earth, doesnt need to be the centre of attention and can easily be home and not be bored.


Honestly im looking for a life partner that i can count on and one that can count on me. Shoot me a message and lets see what happens.

Thanks for reading though this long bio."


Thank you for helping.




Before I start, just a friendly reminder

Jun 1 - Master Online Dating Online Bootcamp

Jun 1 - Write The Best Dating Profile Ever Online Class



Okay. Here we go…

My brutally honest bio: Recently separated from my ex-wife of 10 years.

First, check off “Separated” as your current status and let that be that. There’s no need to mention it unless you’re using a platform that doesn’t offer the option to self-identify as married/single/divorced, etc. I’ll warn you ahead of time that women are going to see separated and swipe left. For good reason. You’re not divorced. You’re not single. There’s nothing stopping you from going back to your wife. You’re a liability. This might sound unfair but it’s the truth. For this reason alone, you’re going to struggle. You must give someone the opportunity to assess the risk for themselves.


Warning people that your bio is brutally honest is also going to give people pause. Do you know who should be brutally honest with you? Your closest confidante. Someone with your best interests at heart. You’re not admitting to being a serial killer. You’re just a guy in transition trying to figure shit out like the rest of us. There’s no need to be brutally honest about that.

First time trying this online dating thing so go easy on me. Im new to this!

Take this out as well. The thought of being someone’s first online date is intimidating. You’re asking someone to be human training wheels for you. That’s not very enticing.

Little bit about me, I work for government from home, have 2 cats (one is fat and very friendly , the other is skinny and scared of everyone) also have a 200 pound dog as you can see from the profile pic (hes awesome, a gentle giant).

This is important info and definitely should be included in your profile, preferably in the basic stats section where you check off various lifestyle choices, what you’re looking for, etc. The reason is that bio is about grabbing someone’s attention, keeping it, and having it resonate with the right people. You only have a small window of time to do that. People look at the pictures, then the bio, then the stats. They’re looking for compatibility and attraction first.

I have my own townhouse in South Surrey, great neighborhood btw.

Avoid mentioning assets. That might attract people looking for someone to support them or a person to scam. Referencing your financial stability or net worth will make you a target.


Im kind of a homebody, my ideal day/night would be to go for a hike with the dog, have a picnic somewhere by the water, come back home, play some boardgames or watch a movie and eat some munchies and just have great conversation.

Now we’re getting somewhere. That day you described? That sounds PERFECT. People worry that if they don’t make themself out to have some kind of jam-packed social calendar, they’ll seem boring. You’re not boring. At least, not to someone who enjoys doing all the things you listed. They’re the only ones that matter in this context. If you spend most of your time by yourself THAT’S OKAY. It says you like your own company. You can have a support system (which is important to reference in your dating profile) but still prefer what one client refers to as “cozy cat energy.” (Yes, you all can use that phrase if you like.) What you want to make clear is that you have connections with other people. Yes, dogs and cats count! You want to make it clear you are capable of maintaining a relationship of any kind.

Im pretty shy when you first get to meet me but I loosen up once i get to know you. Some of my other pros: im reliable, stable, have my shit together for the most part, i can be funny and goofy, ill always have your back no matter what. I dont have many friends but the ones i do, i have had for many many years. Im honest and i would never cheat and expect the same from my partner.

These are all great attributes but don’t tell me. Show me. How are you loyal and reliable? Are you Jeremy Renner in The Town loyal and reliable?


If so, say that. Seriously. Say, “I’m the friend you come to when you need a favor and asks, ‘Whose car we gonna take?’ “ IFYKNY. Movie lines are a great ice breaker.





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